Hello beautiful people!
I feel like I was on such a roll a few months ago with blogging, posting and just keeping up with social media but then life right? This past year I have struggled so much with balancing everything in my life: being a new mother, raising a baby, taking care of myself, working, creating art for myself, having a social life, keeping in touch with people…the list goes on! Just when I think I have a handle on things, life happens and it starts the never ending cycle again.
When I first had my son, I knew I would take some time off. I had taken time off a few weeks prior to his birth due to unforeseen circumstances with my pregnancy. When my son was about 5-6 weeks old, I was itching to shoot. I HAD too. I set up a shoot, planned to have my son there with my Mum just in case he needed me, and then…the model never turned up. Go figure right? I remember feeling defeated, why was I leaving my baby to do a shoot? Because…photography is my love. Being a mother fills my heart and soul but photography is something I NEED in my life. I crave it when I’m away for too long. The first 6 months of Callum’s life I did a few shoots here and there, just trying to get used to how I was going to balance everything. I’m the first to admit, my communication skills have seriously took a beating since becoming a mother. I am horrible at responding and I really don’t mean to be so let me be the first to apologize.
I started back work full-time at the end of June. I had a wedding, the Coco Rocha Model Camp and a bunch of family sessions, portrait sessions etc. I’ll be really honest, being away for so long I worried people would have forgotten about me because I know in this industry if you’re not active, people think you’re not serious. For a while there, I was doing multiple shoots a week so on top of shooting there is the editing (most people don’t realize how much time editing can take!), plus I still had to be a mother and take care of my son and my puppy (she needs love and care too). I’m really lucky that my Mum and Mother-In-Law would watch Callum when I needed to work. I would only be away from him for 3-6 hours at a time. Not bad right? After a month or so constantly doing that, I felt incredible guilt. I felt guilty for not being with him every minute of every day. So, I stopped for a few weeks. Then that familiar feeling of ‘I NEED TO SHOOT’ arose and the cycle started alllllll over again.
The last few weeks now have been a rollercoaster. Due to family health issues, I’ve had to reschedule so many shoots. I swear I have not had to reschedule so many shoots since becoming a mother, again I’m sorry but life happens and I need to put my son and my family first.
I struggled with not having the luxury to just plan a shoot, set it up and then do it…sometimes with a few hours notice. But I wouldn't change it for the world…it just takes me a little longer now and that’s okay. There is no rule book they give you when you become a mother, it takes a lot of time to figure out your routine.
Maybe in another year I’ll finally have it figured out…maybe. But then baby #2 might be here by then…and the cycle will just continue!
Until next time,
Lisa-Marie xo